The Case for Civility and Respect in Leadership

Written by Michael Huff

Workplace civility may seem simple—treat others with fairness and respect. But as we know, what’s respectful to one person may come across as dismissive or offensive to another. This gap in perception can quickly lead to misunderstandings, disengagement, and even conflict.

The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) estimates that U.S. businesses lose an estimated $2.7 billion every single day due to reduced productivity and absenteeism caused by workplace incivility. That staggering figure underscores the urgent need for organizations to address this issue and equip leaders with the tools to create a culture of respect.

This article explores why leading a civil workplace can be difficult and why it matters. It also discusses what leaders can do to set standards and create meaningful interactions that drive results.

Defining Civility and Incivility in the Workplace

In his book Choosing Civility, the late P.M. Forni defines civility as “being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness.” Gregory Kuper, leadership consultant and communications instructor, defines civility in one word—respect. He explains that civility is critical in the workplace because it prevents unintentional harm. For instance, when people make jokes or form exclusive cliques, these actions, while not intended to be harmful, can come across as disrespectful and damage trust and morale.

Kuper emphasizes that civility fosters positivity, which drives productivity and builds a healthier workplace culture. Conversely, Christine Porath defines incivility as “disrespect or rudeness. It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting, to telling offensive jokes, to texting in meetings.” By leading with respect, leaders create an environment where employees feel valued and motivated to perform at their best.

Leading with Civility

Workplace dynamics have changed dramatically in recent decades. It’s no longer enough for leaders to focus solely on hitting key performance indicators. Today’s successful leaders must also know how to engage their workforce, ensuring employees feel supported, valued, and empowered to perform at their best. Yet, many organizations fail to prepare their leaders for the complexities of workplace culture.

Leading with Civility is difficult for many leaders, especially those not trained to navigate interpersonal dynamics effectively. During Double E Workplace Solutions Leadership Fundamentals training events, participants share how many training events they’ve attended in the past.  For most of them, it’s their first—or their first time in a long time. This lack of development leaves leaders ill-equipped to handle modern workplace challenges, especially when it comes to promoting civility and trust.

Kuper points out, “Leaders often focus on results but forget that how they achieve those results matters just as much. Civility isn’t about being soft—it’s about building trust that leads to stronger teams and better outcomes.”

According to Johnny C. Taylor, Jr. SHRM-SCP SHRM President & CEO, we need to train leaders to better address the workplace civility crisis. Taylor emphasizes, “Can employees recognize incivility? See, it’s not just enough to say to someone, ‘Be civil.’ We’ve gotta teach our workforces how to recognize incivility and what is actionable.”

Cultivating Civility: Lessons in Setting Standards and Strengthening Connections

Kuper shared how his experience teaching college students revealed how deeply uncivil behaviors had become normalized. Many interrupted, spoke out of turn, and failed to demonstrate basic respect during discussions. Recognizing an opportunity, Kuper began incorporating civility training into his curriculum—focusing on professionalism, good manners, and respect.

To his surprise, the students loved it. The lessons not only opened their eyes to behaviors they hadn’t even realized were uncivil but also sparked self-reflection and a genuine desire to improve. Kuper noted that once people became aware of their actions, most were eager to change, leading to increased engagement and stronger connections in the classroom.

Leaders, like Kuper’s students, may not even realize how their behavior affects others until it’s brought to their attention. This demonstrates why training isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. By intentionally prioritizing civility, leaders can foster self-awareness and cultivate environments where engagement and respect flourish.

Steps Organization Can Take:

• Train and Reinforce Behavior: Offer workshops and tools to educate teams on respectful communication.
• Model Respect Daily: Demonstrate Civility in every interaction, from meetings to casual conversations.
• Set Clear Expectations: Establish a code of conduct that defines what Civility looks like and what behaviors won’t be tolerated.
• Foster Psychological Safety: Build trust by encouraging open dialogue and providing opportunities for employees to voice concerns.

Kuper echoes this sentiment, adding, “It’s the daily interactions that define your leadership. Small moments of acknowledgment, like a quick thank-you or an encouraging word, create momentum for a civil culture.” Small actions like smiling, listening, and thanking people can create a culture of Civility that drives performance and engagement.

Building a Workplace That Thrives with Civility Training

According to SHRM’s Civility Index, employees experience or witness about 190 million acts of incivility per day, and this number continues to rise. Civility in the workplace isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a business imperative. Nearly three out of four people in the U.S. have experienced or witnessed incivility at work. When leaders model incivility or allow this behavior to persist, it damages relationships, erodes trust, enhances job dissatisfaction, and even causes people to leave their jobs.

Investing in civility isn’t just about compliance—it’s about creating teams that outperform and stay engaged, and ultimately, civility training sets your leaders and organization up for long-term success. When leaders effectively model civility, they unlock the potential of their people and ensure that respect becomes more than an expectation—it becomes a habit.

While many organizations recognize the importance of civility, few provide their leaders with the training and tools to sustain it. That’s where Double E Workplace Solutions steps in. Double E Workplace Solutions is ready to help organizations build the tools and strategies to transform teams and foster lasting respect. Contact Double E Workplace Solutions today to discuss how we can help you implement civility training in your organization.